Wandering MIND*

.e v e.

It's been a while! Life is being so good to us 8) I have been such a shopaholic since the arrival of my Empress! My obsession with name brand clothes is really getting me into trouble. LOL. I don't know why it's such a big deal to me to get expensive name brand clothes & somewhat unnecessary baby items for her. In the last 4 days I've spent $200 alone & only got about 6 outifts NOT including her Halloween costume, shoes & basic needs! I can buy an entire wardrobe had I shopped at Carter's or Ross. I swear, this little girl might as well have a car with all this spending. Ugh. Buuut, she is my first blessing that has made her way into this world so spoiling her seems minimal to finally having her in my life. I am so blessed to have her here, I never think twice when I see anything that my baby deserves.

L O V E.

My husband is by far the BEST man I could have chosen to spend my life with. Every minute that I spend with him is another reason to love him. I love his flaws, I love his loyalty, I love his not so funny jokes, his swagg (or lack thereof. LOL!) & my favorite quality is his willingness to rearrange his needs to accomodate those he loves. This man, even though he get on my damn nerves sometimes, if PERFECTly imperfect.

fam*ILyy.

A lot has been going on with my family. Who doesn't have a lot going on right.? Even though we're all very distant right now, I love how easy it is to feel like the distance is only physical. Halloween is coming up & it'll be the first holiday TJ's been away from us! :'( I miss that little boy somthin tough! He used to wake up in the morning & ask whoever he saw first, "Ummm, how did you wake up?!" & we would all close our eyes & open them real wide & say, "like THIS!" & he would do the same. I'm so good at turning my emotions off & on, but when I think about my little brother openly, I can't help but break down. He was the glue to our family for so many years & I wonder if the current distance has anything to do with his absence. Wherever you are TJ, you know your sister Isa loves you & misses you everyday :)

H A L L O W E E E E E E N !

Eve's first Halloween is almost here & I'm so excited! She's a HUGE Yo Gabba Gabba fan so she's going to be Foofa! I think I would've preferred Tutie, but I like her in pink. Haha. I'm looking forward to spending the day showing her one of my all-time favorite holidays! We did pumpkin painting/carving with 2 of my closest friends Nene & Utu & their baby girls & it was so much fun! We're going to carve another pumpkin on Sunday once my niece & nephew come back from their visit with my sisters ex & I can't wait for that either! This year was definitely OUR year. A new baby, new attitude, new purpose in life & a renewed spirit of LOVE in my little family.

God is good all the time.

mommyhood! O_o

MOM.ee.HOOD <3

Eve has been the biggest & by far the most precious blessing I've received in my life! I don't know how I went 21 years without her! Needless to say, motherhood isn't as demanding as I feared. If anything, she keeps me on my toes. Like I said before, I was scared I wouldn't have the maternal instincts I would need to care for my angel. Since she's made her way into my life, I've let go of all that fear & started enjoying providing my daughter with all the love & attention she deserves. :)

SOCIAL SKILLS. eek!

Recently, I've been trying really hard to be more social. I grew up knowing a lot of family & friends and after my parents divorced, all of that went out the window. I stopped seeing my dad's side of the family, I was never allowed to hang out with friends & lost touch with everyone I was ever close to. I don't want that to ever happen to my daughter. I want her to have friends she can grow up with, family she can always turn to when she can't talk to me and to always feel loved from every corner of her world. So far, I've set a few playdates. Haha. But it's a work in progress. I'm happy she has her cousins Armani & Loisi. 

L O V E.

Marriage after having a baby? It's been better than ever! As a mother, the needs & happiness of my daughter take priority over every other thing in the world and when I see my husband with our baby, all is right in the world. I've never been more in love than I am now! He's made so many sacrifices for our little family. Some say that can always change, but no matter what happens, the only man that will love my daughter like I do, is him. Knowing that, I fall asleep a happy woman in his arms every night. 

So far, the changes we've been going through have been great. Both working, being parents, maintaining a household and keeping our sanity.. we're working on it. But we're happy and that's all that matters! 8)

Eve*

It's been a while! Since my last blog, I went into premature labor around 11:30am on 1/31/11 & at 4:46pm that same day I gave birth to an empress & first lady of my life, Eve Fuakoko Vika Tiffany Tapafua! Weighing in at 6lbs. 2oz. & 19 1/2 inches long, she was 4 weeks & 2 days early. She is, by far, the greatest & most influential blessing in my life! 

I must say, motherhood isn't at all as scary as I'd anticipated! The instincts I was worried I'd never develop came without missing a moment of her life & I spend every minute of every day heeding that still small voice that guides me through her life. So far, being her mother has taught me a few things and brought a more empathetic outlook on life. The first week she was born, my poor baby was in the NICU of Jordan Valley Medical because her lungs were underdeveloped, she had low blood pressure, she wasn't maintaining her body temperature, she had jaundice and she was on a 7 day antibiotic. On the 8th day of her life, we were finally allowed to bring our beautiful baby home with us. The days prior were by far the longest I've ever endured!

The first week she was home, it was somewhat difficult adjusting to the hours that she set. Waking up every three hours, changing her diaper before & after every feeding because she pooped so much and pumping enough breast milk to meet her needs became easier by the second week. My baby's now 6 weeks, 2 days & 21 hours old and I have been more grateful for each new moment than the last! 

As far as my relationship with my husband goes, I have never been happier! He's the best daddy my daughter could possibly have & our relationship is so much stronger with a physical manifestation of our love in sight! I have never been more in love :) My family has also been so supportive throughout everything. My mom, my aunt Vika & my sister Sieli were there for the birth & living with my sister Sieli proved more convenient than it had been before, since I need a babysitter now & then. Haha. Since Eve's arrival, life hasn't gotten anything but better! (& a little more expensive too. Lol.) Eve's blessing was March 6th and I was so grateful that my grandpa blessed her & my uncle was there to stand in the circle! I really want my daughter to me raised in the church but before she was born, her father & I decided she would choose her religion herself. The day of her blessing, I was so overwhelmed with the spirit, that I really wished I hadn't made that agreement. No matter how long I stay away from the church, my belief never wavers & I want that for my daughter. I guess we'll have to wait & see :(

I sent my dad a picture of my daughter & he didn't so much as reply. I guess the only grandpa my baby will know is my father in-law. He's a great dad so I know he'll be an even better grandfather! I've got baby shower plans to make so I'll leave off here. This is the beginning to a NEW chapter in my life :)